Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
He shit in the fireplace
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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