Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
