if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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