its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
