we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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