The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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