Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize
