That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
two words: eviction party
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
