I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
