How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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