we're chasing vodka with high fives
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
