oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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