have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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