nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
