what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
You took a bar mat shot.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
