just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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