So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
