I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
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