Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I can tuck mytits in my pants
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Randomize
