You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
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