i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
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I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
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The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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