I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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