Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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