I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud