The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
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I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
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He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.