she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though