I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
