But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?