It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...