Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
We left an ass print on the piano.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
