You made me cry and you don't even care
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
