He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
