That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
