Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
