I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Randomize
