this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Randomize
