Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
