why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
