Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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