She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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