I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
