if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
