Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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