I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
