Small penises have feelings too.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
