Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
