no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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