i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
