Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
