i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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