those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
