Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
