I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
