she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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