nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
