so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
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He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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