Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
There's a naked man in my car right now.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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