omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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